Soft Sunday –
Life is so strange.
So strong, and at the same time so fragile.
This week has stopped me.
My mother-in-law passed away.
And as always happens when life suddenly changes – everything is put in a different light.
What was once everyday becomes something else.
What felt important fades.
And what really matters emerges, more clearly than ever.
We gathered.
Quiet, close, a little lost in the feeling.
And amidst all the heavyness, there was something unexpectedly soft.
A laugh.
A memory.
The taste of strawberries.
Little moments that remind us that life still goes on – even when the heart hurts.
The invisible scale of life
There is a kind of invisible scale in life.
One that researchers have actually tried to put numbers on – where different life events are ranked according to how much they affect us.
On that scale there are things like:
- The loss of a close relative
- Divorce
- Serious illness
- Having children
- To get married
- Losing a job
- To move
- Losing a friend
The interesting thing is that both what we call “happiness” and what we call “sadness” can be high.
Because the body and soul react not only to whether something is good or bad – but to how big it is.
Having a child and losing someone can both shake up one's entire existence.
It says something important:
We are not built to be unaffected.
We are built to feel.
Why we gather around death
Throughout human history, we have had rituals surrounding death.
Funerals, memorials, ceremonies.
It doesn't really matter if it's in a church, a mosque, a temple – or out in nature.
The need is the same.
We gather.
Not just for the one who has passed away –
but for those of us who are left.
In Christianity, there is often a ceremony with hymns, words of hope and reunion.
In Islam, burial takes place quickly, with a focus on simplicity and respect for God.
In Hinduism, the body is cremated and the ashes are often taken to a sacred river – a symbol of the cycle of life.
In Buddhism, the focus is on transition, on consciousness and its continuation.
Different expressions.
Same core.
We humans need:
- Mark that something has changed
- Remember
- Feeling together
- Holding each other
It's not just tradition.
It is a deeply human function.
The many faces of grief
Grief doesn't look the same for everyone.
And that is perhaps the hardest thing to understand.
Some become silent.
Others talk a lot.
Some cry openly.
Others feel almost nothing – at first.
And some… get angry.
Sometimes that anger is directed outward.
Towards people nearby.
Against small things.
Against the world.
It may feel unfair to be the recipient of that.
But often it's not about you.
Behind the anger is often:
- Fear
- Impotence
- Regret
- Unspoken words
- Things you wish you had done differently
Grief is looking for a way out.
And sometimes it gets edgy.
If you are standing next to
It's not always easy to know how to act when someone in grief reacts strongly.
You don't have to accept being treated badly.
But you can understand without taking over the responsibility.
One way to maintain balance is to think:
“This is about their pain – not my worth.”
Set boundaries if necessary.
But take it easy.
And sometimes it's enough to not enter into the conflict.
To let the wave wash over without reinforcing it.
Grief doesn't always need to be resolved.
It often just needs to be there.
What remains
When someone passes away, something strange happens.
While the person is no longer here...
so they become more present in some way.
In memories.
In stories.
In small details.
A gesture.
An expression.
A way of being.
And maybe that's where something important lies.
That life is not only measured in time –
but in print.
To truly live
It almost sounds like a cliché to say
“life is short”.
But it's true.
And we know that –
without really living as if we know it.
We postpone.
We are waiting.
We think “later”.
But “late” is never guaranteed.
This doesn't mean we should live in stress or chase everything.
On the contrary.
This means we can:
- Be more present in the small things
- Say what we want to say
- Dare to appreciate what is actually here
- Don't take relationships for granted
Loving life is not about everything being perfect.
It's about seeing the value – even in what is fragile.
Soft Sunday - In Love
Today should be a soft day.
A day where nothing needs to happen.
Where you get to feel what exists.
Maybe sadness.
Maybe gratitude.
Maybe both.
Because that's life.
Not either or.
But both.
And in the midst of all this –
there is something quiet and beautiful:
That we are here.
Right now.
